


Warmth

by platoapproved



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Avalanches, Claustrophobia, F/F, Pining, Sharing Body Heat, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26803417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platoapproved/pseuds/platoapproved
Summary: Azu and Sasha get caught in the snow and have to stay warm.Azu Week Day 1: Armour / Heart (Azu’s strength; her warmth)
Relationships: Azu/Sasha Racket
Comments: 14
Kudos: 21
Collections: Azu Week 2020





	Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> What if Sasha had been right about Einstein’s teleport out of Damascus leaving them all stuck on a mountain? I can’t actually remember if Azu was almost out of spells at this exact moment in the podcast, but let’s just pretend, shall we? Thanks to negev for being a lovely beta-reader!

Einstein had done his best; Azu believed that with all her heart. And, to his credit, the man hadn’t teleported them to the bottom of the ocean or a mile into the air or onto an erupting volcano. 

Geography had never been Azu’s strong suit and for all she knew, Rome could be only a mile or two away from the large, craggy mountain they landed on. It was impossible to tell through the blinding swirl of snow that had battered the four of them the moment they teleported in. It had all happened so _quickly_. One moment she had been in that factory in Damascus, Hamid and Sasha’s hands clutched in hers, casting one last look over her shoulder at Grizzop’s tear-streaked face, and the next she was hit by a wave of cold so intense it knocked the breath from her lungs. The air was white and the howl of the wind was deafening—even just breathing hurt.

Then, unimaginably, things had gotten worse. 

The snowy slope that they had landed on was precarious and unready to support the sudden weight of four people; before Azu could get out a single word she was falling. Hamid’s hand slipped out of hers, then Sasha’s, and Azu felt an awful lurch in her stomach as the ground slid out from under her. As she plummeted, Azu caught a glimpse of Hamid and Einstein, suspended in the gray air. For a second her heart stuttered in fear, but then she noticed that they were still. Not falling-- _flying_. Hamid was reaching towards her, his mouth open in a cry that she couldn’t hear over the roar of the wind and the crash of cascading snow. And then he was gone, and she was rolling and tumbling down the mountainside. 

For a few minutes, there was nothing but cold and disorientation and visceral fear. Azu had heard horror stories of avalanches. She’d been told how unwary travelers could get swept up in them and buried deep, surrounded on all sides by snow and crushed, doomed to suffocate, alone and in agony. She breathed through the terror and prayed to Aphrodite with everything in her. She couldn’t die now. Not like _this_ , not with her friends still in danger and her brother held hostage and her holy quest just beginning. She had more to do, more help to give, more _love_ to put into the world.

Eventually, her momentum slowed, until Azu realized she had stopped falling entirely. She felt snow covering her, and panic surged inside her. But one quick swipe of her arm cleared the snow from on top of her, and she gulped in the ice-cold fresh air with intense relief. She moved with painful care, terrified to set off another slide. Her legs were shaking as she stood, but the snow beneath her did not shift.

Azu had no idea how far she had been swept, but when she turned her eyes upwards, she saw no sign of Hamid or Einstein. Not that she was likely to, through the howling storm. What if the wind had torn them from one another, tossed Einstein in a ravine, bashed Hamid’s tiny, fragile body against a rocky cliff—

But she couldn’t let herself think like that. She had no way of getting to them when she had no idea where they might even be. Sasha, on the other hand, had almost certainly gotten swept up in the falling snow along with her. Azu had a lot of faith in Sasha’s abilities and she’d seen her perform some unbelievable feats of acrobatics. Still, there had been nothing nearby to catch hold of that she had seen.

And so she began her search. She was thankful to note that the visibility was a little better here than in the spot where the group had initially landed—an outcropping of rock was blocking the worst of the wind and with it the swirling snow. The snow on the ground was churned and uneven, littered with broken branches and debris. Azu scanned it for any signs of Sasha, but there were none. She took a few steps then stopped. She thought of her friend trapped under the snow the way she’d been afraid to be, gasping and running out of air.

Azu stood transfixed in place, the fear paralyzing her as awful possibility after awful possibility sprung up in her mind. She had seen Sasha bloodied and unconscious in Cairo; it was so easy for her imagination to elaborate on that image, and once it had started, Azu couldn’t make it stop.

What if Sasha had hit her head on the way down? Broken her back, or been impaled by one of those branches? What if she was bleeding out somewhere nearby, too weak to cry out, and Azu couldn’t find her in time? What if Sasha was _already_ dead? What if she was gone from the world forever, and Azu would never again watch her slipping out of the shadows, never again hear her stammer her way through a sentence in that way that was just hers, never again see the way her face changed when she smiled?

Azu could remember every single time she had made Sasha smile. She’d almost missed the first one, because Sasha’s smiles weren’t beaming, like Hamid’s, or wide and toothy, like Grizzop’s. Sasha's smiles were a subtle twist at one corner of her mouth that she couldn’t quite hide. She always looked away, rubbed at the back of her neck, like she was embarrassed and confused to find herself happy. Azu had learned the way Sasha would _fidget_ along with her smiles; a few times, she’d even seen Sasha’s pale cheeks flush pink with pleasure at something she’d said.

She had planned on making Sasha smile so many more times in the future. But what if it was too late, now? What if Sasha was gone, and Azu had never even gotten to tell her…

At some point, Azu had clutched the pendant of her necklace between her hands. The air was bitingly cold against her fingers, but the heart radiated warmth into her palms. Aphrodite was with her still, guiding her, loving her.

A movement caught Azu’s eye—some of the snow just a few steps away from her feet _shifted_ slightly. Azu didn’t hesitate, dropping to her knees and plunging both arms deep into the churned-up snow. Her hands brushed against leather, and hair. Azu gasped a relieved laugh into the wind and her eyes flooded with hot tears. They blinded her, but she didn’t need to be able to see right now. Her hands found purchase and she hauled Sasha up through the snow as if she weighed nothing.

Sasha was _alive_ , gasping and thrashing. She kept kicking even after Azu had pulled her free from the snow; Azu knew she must have been struggling so hard under the drift, panicking and cold. It took a moment for Sasha to realize she was clear of it all, and when she did, she went boneless against the ground, her energy completely spent. Azu didn’t waste a moment, hauling Sasha into a ferocious hug, clutching her friend to her chest. Sasha felt small in her arms, but she was whole and breathing. At least with how hard the both of them were shivering, it wasn’t as obvious that Azu’s big shoulders were shaking with sobs.

But there wasn’t time to break down right now. She pulled herself together, swallowing down the fear and guilt and pain, and used the last of her magic to heal Sasha. The warmth of Aphrodite’s love flowed out through her hands and into Sasha’s smaller form. Reluctantly, Azu put her down, but Sasha swayed at once, one of her legs giving out underneath her. She didn’t cry out, but Azu saw her pale face go white, and she caught her before she hit the snow. Sasha’s jaw was tight and she clutched at her left knee. It must have been injured in the fall, badly enough that the healing spell hadn’t completely restored it.

That didn’t matter, for now. Azu could feel the cold seeping into her bones, and she knew their first priority had to be finding shelter. She knew her own capabilities and how long she could endure the cold, but Sasha was already shivering hard, her teeth chattering audibly even over the storm.

“I’m going to pick you up.”

For once, Azu was not asking. She scooped Sasha into her arms and started to walk. It wasn’t hard to hold her, with the difference in their sizes. Azu was glad for entirely different reasons, when Sasha reached up and wrapped her arms around her neck, clinging to her. She moved carefully, testing each step before she put down her full weight. The last thing they needed now was for her to fall into some hidden gap in the snow, or accidentally set off another slide.

Azu had no idea how long it took her to reach that outcropping, but she saw, as she approached, that there was a crack in the stone—the narrow entrance to what was almost certainly a cave. Azu gasped out her thanks to Aphrodite, hope filling her with renewed energy. Maybe somehow the two of them could survive this, after all.

She had to bend down to get through the entrance to the cave. It was pitch black inside, but that didn’t matter to Azu. The inside of the cave wasn’t large, stretching back a mere twenty or so feet, but it was big enough that Azu didn’t feel closed-in. She didn’t see signs of any other creatures sheltering from the storm, or of holes or cracks leading deeper into the mountain. She set Sasha down gingerly against the wall of stone, as far from the entrance as she could reach without hitting her head on the sloping ceiling.

“I’m going to get some wood for a fire. Are you…?” Azu trailed off, not sure how to end her sentence. They needed a fire for warmth, but she couldn’t seem to make herself turn, couldn’t take her eyes off Sasha. Like she would vanish, the moment Azu wasn’t looking at her.

“’m alright.”

“Okay. I’ll be back soon, so just—rest.”

How many times had she heard Sasha say just that, when she was, obviously and objectively, very not alright? Azu hesitated, and then, through sheer force of will, made herself turn back towards the entrance to the cave.

The bite of the wind felt twice as horrible, when she stepped out into it again. Now that her initial panic over Sasha’s safety had worn off, Azu had a moment to check in with her own body. She ached all over; her armor may have protected her from the worst of the fall, but she would be bruised from head to toe—she could feel it. Snow had gotten into her armor, as well, and her clothes clung to her skin, wet and so cold, leeching the heat from her. Fortunately, there was plenty of wood scattered around, branches and fragments of trees that had broken up in the rush of snow. Azu scooped up an armful in short order and headed back to the cave.

Sasha was not resting, of course. Azu saw her pulling knives from her jacket, taking stock of which were still there. A dozen knives were already laid out on the ground beside her in neat rows, despite the fact that Azu knew Sasha must not be able to see anything at all. She was doing it by feel, pulling blades from her sleeve or collar running them between her hands before setting them down carefully. Azu’s heart tugged, watching it. How carefully Sasha handled her tools, how precious they were to her.

Wordlessly, she drew near, and crouched down to start building the fire. It was quick work, getting it going, and soon the interior of the cave was full of flickering orange light. The heat from the fire wasn’t much, and Azu hauled herself to the mouth of the cave again. If she could block the entrance—not completely, but some—it would help to cut down on the draft. So she plodded into the snow once more, choosing one of the medium-size fallen trees and dragging it back to the cave. A little help from her axe to trim it down, and it was just the right shape to prop against the mouth of the cave, blocking out the cold. She gathered up as many of the branches as she could, pulling them back into the cave to line the floor. Any barrier between them and the cold stone of the ground would help to conserve heat. She arranged them, thickest branches first, and then a layer of finer branches, filled out and padded with pine needles on top. It was prickly, but better than nothing.

And then, limbs shaking with exhaustion, Azu finally sat down and began to take off her armor. It was a risk, she knew, but she thought that the chances of freezing if she stayed in her wet clothes were far more likely than the chances of being attacked. They were in the middle of nowhere, up a mountain during a storm. Who would even be able to find them here?

“You’re- you’re _proper_ strong, Azu.”

Azu looked up; she hadn’t realized that Sasha was watching her this whole time. Even after the awful day she’d had, Azu could feel her cheeks heating.

“…Ah. Yes, I am.” Why deny it, after all? She didn’t know what Sasha was getting at, if it was just a compliment or if she had some other reason to mention it.

“I mean, I, I— _knew_ you were, obviously, I’m not blind, it’s—I just…” Sasha trailed off, as Sasha so often did, with an awkward shrug. Azu’s face heated a little more, and she nodded as if she had any idea what Sasha was trying to say. It didn’t mean anything, of course. Just Sasha trying to thank her in her unusual, indirect way.

“Anyway, uh—what’s the plan, Azu?”

Azu felt the weight of it all pressing down on her. Hamid and Einstein, out there in the storm. Grizzop, left in Damascus all alone. Emeka, held captive by sinister forces. Her family, sick with worry for him back home. Sasha, propped against the wall of the cave, looking to her for answers with so much _trust_ in her dark gaze.

Azu closed her eyes as tears threatened to overwhelm her. She brought a hand up to her pendant, and drew in a long, slow breath. So many loved ones. So many people she could lose. Her voice, when she spoke, was croaky with unshed tears.

“The plan is… the plan is, don’t freeze, and come up with a plan tomorrow.”

When she opened her eyes again, Sasha was scooting closer, moving carefully so she didn’t put any weight on her injured knee. She must have heard the break in Azu’s voice, because she didn’t ask any more questions, after that. She merely reached out and began to help Azu unfasten her armor. Her hands were small and clever and quick, and soon Azu had removed the last of it. She arranged the armor in a half-circle around the fire and began to strip off the soaked clothes underneath, wringing out as much water as she could and then draping them on top of the armor to dry.

As she undressed, Azu was aware, without looking over, of Sasha’s eyes on her. She could always feel it, when Sasha was looking at her, even if she hadn’t known that Sasha was in the room up until that moment. Of course, there were a dozen perfectly innocent reasons _why_ Sasha might be watching her take off her clothes. Maybe she hadn’t even realized she was doing it. Maybe she was looking for any injuries that Azu might have missed…

Those conjectures calmed the fluttering uncertainty in Azu’s stomach—at least, until she couldn’t take it any longer and dared a sideways glance. Sasha wasn’t looking at her like she was zoning out or checking for injuries. She was looking at Azu with the same bright interest and curiosity she would get when she came across a new fascinating gadget, or a particularly alluring dagger.

Azu swallowed, dropping her gaze and continuing to undress, her hands a little shakier now. She saw a blanket that Sasha had pulled from her bag of holding; it was dry, thank Aphrodite, and big enough for the both of them. Azu made the decision, then. She couldn’t afford to let embarrassment and her unspoken feelings for her companion get in the way of their best chance for survival.

“You should, um. Dry out your clothes, too. I can keep the fire going, but—the best way to keep warm overnight is for both of us to—to sleep toge—um. To sleep— _beside_ one another, sharing that.”

She gestured to the folded-up blanket, ignoring the heat in her cheeks and the continued weight of Sasha’s eyes on her.

“Once I’ve slept, I can use my magic to protect us from the cold, but…I’m all out for today.”

Azu heard the guilty apology in her own voice. So, evidently, did Sasha.

“Azu… you’ve done _loads_. I—I don’t think… I woulda made it out of that snow if it wasn’t for you, so. Don’t beat yourself up, alright?”

Azu shook her head, as if she could physically repel even the thought of Sasha not making it out of the snow. She pulled off the last of her underclothes and laid them out to dry, acutely aware of her nakedness. There was not a stitch on her, now—nothing between her and the world apart from that necklace, the little replica of the heart of Aphrodite nestled between her breasts.

She busied herself with arranging the blanket into a sort of cocoon and getting inside it as Sasha stripped down. Azu kept her eyes anywhere but on her friend. She did look, just once, when she heard Sasha wince. Sasha had jostled her knee, in pulling off her trousers, and was curled forward in pain, teeth gritted, hissing out a string of curse words. Azu saw the scars spanning her pale, narrow back—the strange pattern of them, like a bird. She reached out, fingers just brushing Sasha’s shoulder, a ghost of a touch.

“Are you—?”

“Yeah,” Sasha cut her off before she could finish. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine. None of it was fine. But Azu did her the favor of pretending to believe her. And once Sasha had laid out her clothes to dry and turned to face her, Azu’s hesitation and feelings of awkwardness faded into the background. Sasha was holding herself so tense, taut as a bowstring and shivering in the open air of the cave. Azu coaxed her closer, guiding her with her hands. Sasha moved stiffly, but put up no resistance as Azu helped her to lay down, drew her in close, so that Sasha’s scarred back was pressed against her breasts and stomach. Azu tucked the blanket closed around them, fussing and adjusting it until as little as possible of either of them was exposed to the air. 

She could feel Sasha shaking, and it wasn’t clear to her how much of that was from the cold, how much was the after-effects of fear and exhaustion, and how much Sasha’s discomfort over the contact between them.

“Sasha?”

Sasha made a noise of acknowledgement that wasn’t really a word at all.

“Are you… alright? With this? I—I wouldn’t want you to feel—I can try to find another way to keep us warm if you really—”

“It’s nice,” Sasha blurted, cutting Azu off. There was a pause, then, the only sound filling the cave was the crackle of the fire and, through the makeshift barrier, the howl of the wind outside. Sasha drew in a shaky breath and, with an awkward, deliberate determination, shifted herself in closer to Azu. Azu said nothing, heart hammering, trying not to think about how much of Sasha’s skin was touching hers, about what kinds of sounds Sasha might make if she…

“It feels, um. Good. You…feel good, Azu. And I… would like this, I think, even if it weren’t caves and snow and freezing to death and everything so awful.”

Azu listened, scarcely breathing, as Sasha fumbled for the words. 

“I—haven’t ever…done. This. Anything like this. I haven’t—there hasn’t been time or anybody that I would…and maybe it’s stupid saying this because I don’t even know if you—I mean, you’re so beautiful, Azu, and I’m just—”

“You are _lovely_ ,” Azu interrupted heatedly, because whatever diminishing thing Sasha was about to say about herself was untrue, and she knew that without even needing to hear it.

Sasha breathed shakily for several moments. Azu didn’t move or speak; the moment felt so fragile between them. After what she’d seen at Hamid’s sister’s funeral, after meeting Barret, Azu had some idea of how much Sasha had been through. Even without the details, she knew how important this moment must be, to someone who had lived Sasha’s life. So she waited, heart pounding with hope, breath caught in her throat. All Azu could see of Sasha was the back of her neck, tinted orange by the firelight, the downy-soft dark hair trailing down and the edge of that burn, slightly puckered and darker than the skin around it. She could feel Sasha’s frame, compact and wiry, pressed in close against her. And there, pinned between Sasha’s back and Azu’s chest, the pendant of Aphrodite was a hard bead of radiant warmth.

Azu knew well that words had never been Sasha’s best tools. It was no great surprise when she abandoned them, reaching back behind her and seeking out Azu’s hand. She drew it forward and, with a small, brave inhale, set Azu’s hand against her stomach. Azu felt the scar, there—the place where Sasha had been cut open and taken apart, deep beneath Paris, before the two of them had ever met. Azu brushed her fingertips against it, and Sasha shuddered, exhaling a small sigh. It felt like an invitation.

“Sasha.” Azu’s voice was soft, careful. She had to be _sure_. Gestures could mean so many different things, and she couldn’t risk betraying Sasha’s trust. “Would you... like me to touch you, now?”

Azu felt Sasha’s laugh more than she heard it, quiet and disbelieving and overwhelmed. And she felt it, when Sasha nodded.

“Yeah. Uh, yeah, Azu. I would.”


End file.
